A fistful of well-known feelings

I would like to say it has been a long time, 
but it hasn't. 
The same flavours fill my senses, 
only they come 
from a different source. 

I still remember you, 
sleeping in my bed, next to me. 
I couldn't sleep,
I couldn't believe 
you had just made love to me, 
so intensely, 
so close together, 
you were breathing in my face. 

If I close my eyes, 
I can still see you
and hear you. 
I remember how you asked me to come closer
so that you could hold me in your arms, 
in the middle of the night, 
half asleep.

I can still smell you, 
I remember the taste of your neck, 
your ears and your shoulders. 
You made me fall, I was so into you... 
but you were mean, 
cruel to me. 

You destroyed my hope, played me, used me... 
Sometimes I try to understand 
how could someone like you 
treat me like that. 
You were my worst bet. 

However, I know that was a karmic punishment.
I played the same game with someone else, 
someone who loved me 
despite my selfishness. 
You cheated me 
just like I cheated him. 

I beg the universe for forgiveness. 
I also hope karma will ask you to pay for your debts... 
I loved you. 
Maybe I still do. 
I hate you.

Goodbye.